Bed Sides
Posted by WIWAM in Commonalities, Humans/Society on November 18th, 2009
Everyone has a side of the bed that they’re most comfortable sleeping on. Whether it be the side you grew up on, the side you demanded to take or the one you were “assigned” by your significant other you probably have one. When a previous girlfriend and I only had a twin bed to sleep on she took the side against the wall to feel secure, but when we moved in together and had a queen sized bed I got the other side because of her preference growing up. Unfortunately, the girls tend to make the rules in my relationships but this side-switching shouldn’t be allowed! Once you choose a bed side in a relationship you should not be able to switch, even with a change in circumstances.
Man or Woman?
Posted by WIWAM in Games/Toys, Humans/Society on November 17th, 2009
One of my favorite games to play is, “Man or Woman?” It’s a game I made up that can only be played when you see a gender ambiguous person. The person may have very short hair, you might have a bad angle on the them, they’re far away or they’re just too damn fat to determine their sex from a quick glance. You point them out to your friends around you and you all get a guess as to what gender they are! This game gets to be played more often than you think.
Scary Gas
Posted by WIWAM in Personal, Transportation on November 16th, 2009
I like pumping gas and prefer to pump my own but I have particular gas stations that I trust and feel comfortable at, and I don’t enjoy going to gas stations that I’ve never been to before. Sometimes it’s because I don’t know if they’re only full serve stations or I think there will be a strange method to start the pump. Obviously, there are times in which I have no choice and have to go to one I’ve never visited previously. Once I go to this new gas station and have an acceptable experience then I’m fine and they can join my list of gas stations I’m not afraid of.
Reverse Arrest
Posted by WIWAM in Humans/Society on November 15th, 2009
We know that black people get stopped, pulling over in cars and arrested sometimes just for being black. How many white people get arrested just for being white? There must be towns and cities in America where it’s just not pleasant to be a white person. I wonder what those places are.
Healthy Sex Pill
Near the end of most commercials about male erectile dysfunction they’ll go through the steps you should take to determine whether or not you should take the advertised drug. First of all, these companies don’t really care if you should take it. 99.9% of television watchers don’t need this drug and for the most part they’re advertising to the typical paranoid American. Anyway, one of these steps is to consult your doctor and ask… here it comes… IF YOU’RE HEALTHY ENOUGH FOR SEX. Are they serious? What type of question is that to ask your doctor? Sure, maybe in some cases its relevant but is anyone actually going to ask that question? And more importantly, is anyone actually going to follow their doctor’s advice if he or she says they shouldn’t be having sex? The only reasons I can think of for not being healthy enough to have sex is bent penis syndrome, tattered vagina disease or perhaps the fact that you’re already dead. Other than those unlikely scenarios, people are having sex if it’s an option to them. So spare me the legal crap about being healthy enough to have sex.
Hit Songs
Posted by WIWAM in Ridiculousness on November 13th, 2009
I like songs that come right out and say what they are, what they mean and why you should care. That’s why I’m writing a new song called, “Put my penis in your mouth and order me a pizza.” I think it’s going to be a hit.
Supermarket Bags
Every time you go to the supermarket and buy a whole bunch of items they end up stuffing every bag to the brim. The bags gets so full and heavy that a second bag is needed to put around the first in order to support the weight of all the items. Now you’re using two bags! So why don’t they just make thicker bags to support the weight of a full bag? The cheap bastards! At least at most supermarkets now you can bring in reusable bags and save a whole lot of plastic and aggravation. Their motivation may be to save money on bags but at least the end result is good for everyone. Yippie for progress!
Hottequin
Posted by WIWAM in Ridiculousness, Sex/Drugs on November 11th, 2009
Is it wrong to be attracted to a mannequin? I’m not saying I want to take one home, drill a hole and have my way with it but these items are designed to be attractive in addition to being functional. Also, they’re modeled after real people in many cases. So if I see a hot mannequin am I allowed to point it out? Does it matter who is in my company at the time of my statement? Would telling my girlfriend that I was attracted to a mannequin be a bad idea? It certainly wouldn’t imply that the mannequin was more attractive than she is, but I also wouldn’t want to tap into her insecurities. I guess it’s just best to keep these things to myself. And you.
Poor Store Location
The word urban usually refers to a city environment. So imagine my surprise when I found an Urban Outfitters in a suburban (relating to smaller residential community) mall. Who the hell wants to be outfit with urban items when they live in the suburbs?! How does this store stay in business?
Making In
Posted by WIWAM in Sex/Drugs, Words/Language on November 9th, 2009
Why does the saying, “Making out” refer to kissing and groping? Who came up with and decided to use this terminology to describe this particular act? And why isn’t it “Making in”? Why does everything need it’s own cute name? Why can’t we just call it what it is? Neither word actually describes the act in any way. Along the same lines but even more ambiguous is the saying, “Hook up”. In this case the words partially describe acts being done but doesn’t clarify what those acts are. Did these people kiss? Perform oral sex? Have intercourse? More questions arise when you say, “Hook up” than if you hadn’t used it in the first place.