Archive for ‘Health/Nutrition/Food’
Yummy Gummy 2
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food on July 30th, 2010
Following up on a post from last year entitled Yummy Gummy, I am still taking gummy vitamins daily. The same questions from my original post still remain, but another issue has arose. The gummies I take are One A Day brand. The one problem I have with this situation is that the daily serving size is two gummies! How can something with the name One A Day have a recommended daily prescription of two?! Unacceptable. I demand they change their name immediately, or make the gummy twice as big to change the serving size.
High on Fructose
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food on July 28th, 2010
If marketers were smart they would change the name of high fructose corn syrup. At this point in our society, we’ve been trained to avoid sugars and high fructose corn syrup. Having this ingredient high on your product’s list is a death wish for sales (and customers). New possible names for high fructose corn syrup could be: fancy happy cream, crystal energy nuggets or diabetes juice. That last one might not go over so well.
Tags: High Fructose Corn Syrup
W-Shaped Groin
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food, Humans/Society/Family on July 12th, 2010
My friend likes to claim I have a sexy V-shaped groin. I can freely admit I don’t have the sexiest of physiques, but when you catch me on the right day my torso can look alright. I wear my pants and shorts pretty low and occasionally my obliques and other ab muscles shift the right way and give me that “V-shaped” look. I think the V-shaped abs/groin area is incredibly attractive. I’m not attracted to men, but at the same time I can admit when a guy is good looking, and the “V” certainly helps in that area. Some guys have so much muscle and definition in that area that I don’t think the “V” does it justice. If I have a V-shaped” groin then then must have “W-shaped” groins, or “X-shaped” groins. I even think the “V” is attractive for women. Normally I’m attracted to girls with some muscle definition. Good abs are near the top of the list of attractive features to me. So work hard, eat right and you too can get that elusive and attractive “W-Shaped” groin.
Tags: Muscles
Foot Meal
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food, Ridiculousness on July 11th, 2010
Imagine you are a prisoner being held captive, and you are being forced to eat a human foot. You must eat this foot or you will be killed, but you do have a few choices: You can choose whether you eat a right or left foot. You can also choose whether or not you eat the foot off the bone, or have it cut up in pieces. How do you eat this foot? I’d have to go in pieces, and a right foot.
What Would You Do?
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food, Ridiculousness on July 8th, 2010
What would you do for a Klondike bar? Would you blow a goat? Stick your dick in a bear trap? Would you punch your mom in the face for a Klondike bar? How about your grandmother? Would you stick your grandmother in a bear trap? Would you blow a bear trap or punch a goat in the dick? Would you insert a paper clip into your urethra? How about a garden worm? Would you blow a garden worm? Klondike bars are pretty delicious, would you drive your car over 200 rabbits for one? What if they were already dead? Would you kick an elephant in the testicles, or bend back the nail on your big toe? Would you Crazy Glue your hands together? Or your hand to your genitals? Would you Crazy Glue a Klondike bar to your genitals, then bend over and eat it? Would you eat Crazy Glue? How about a monkey’s tail? How about the band The Monkees? Would you eat them? Would you eat them out? Would you circle jerk with The Monkees? What about with Guns N’ Roses? Would you 69 Axl Rose? How about Slash? Would you tape them 69ing each other? Would you tape a snuff film with The Monkees and Guns N’ Roses? What about with a goat and a monkey and an elephant? Would you let an elephant blow you with his trunk? We’re talking about a fucking Klondike bar here, people.
Tags: Klondike Bar
A Message To Idiots
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food, Idiots on July 6th, 2010
Very often in the media or by individuals you’ll see messages to inanimate objects attempting to put them on notice. This is really stupid. Most recently I’ve seen very smart people working for the LIVESTRONG foundation and cancer patients sending messages through them directed at cancer. “You can’t beat me, cancer.” or “I have cancer, it will NEVER have me!” messages seem to be the majority of what I see. I understand the intent: gain confidence, put yourself in a good frame of mind for the task at hand, etc. However, it bothers me to see these messages being addressed to cancer, like the cancer is going to be afraid or realize it’s dealing with a real threat and back off. Cancer cells cannot understand you. How about you send those messages and direct those messages towards your family, or other people that care about you. You can even use the same language. Be smart with your motivation, that’s all I’m saying.
Tags: Cancer, Idiots, Messages
Side Effects Include Screaming
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food on June 23rd, 2010
I recently saw a commercial for Plavix, an anti-blood clotting medication. I was amazed at the length of time it took to speak to all the side effects and possible problems that go along with the drug. I imagine that if you’re on Plavix or a drug like it you need it pretty badly (although many of our nice American doctors do love to make money off of prescribing unnecessary drugs) but that list was exceptionally long. My favorite part was when I heard the commercial state “If you develop fever, unexplained weakness or confusion, tell your doctor promptly.” Those are pretty serious side effects. At least the confusion sounds pretty serious. Is confusion a common side effect? How do they expect you to tell your doctor if you experience confusion? If I experience confusion I’m likely to run around screaming and punching people randomly. Actually, that sounds like fun. Does anyone know where I can get some Plavix?
Tags: Commercials, Plavix
Best Pizza
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food on June 19th, 2010
Have you noticed that every pizza box makes the claim they have the best pizza? How can every pizza place have the best pizza around? Not only that, but the pizza places don’t make their own boxes, they buy them. So the pizza box distribution company is really responsible for creation and distribution of the “Best Pizza” boxes and statements. Or if the pizza places themselves design the boxes to be made by a pizza box company then the blame is with both: the pizza place for saying “Best Pizza” and the box company for allowing this to go on. For once I would like the pizza palces to be honest and truthful about their product on the pizza box. They could have statements like, “One of the closest pizza places to your apartment.”, “We have very average pizza. You will like it because it’s pizza, but we’re not going to blow your mind or anything.” and “This is a pizza box.” Be honest, don’t lie on your pizza box.
Tags: Pizza
Eat My Logo
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food, Sports/Entertainment/Music on June 14th, 2010
If someone bakes a cake which has the logo of a rival sports team on top, are you supporting their team by eating the cake, or is it alright to eat because it represents the destruction and demolition of their team? It’s my thought that eating the cake would not be in support of the rival team, especially if you ate it in an aggressive manner. Plus it’s cake, and cake can’t be a negative thing.
Tags: Cake, Sports/Entertainment/Music
No Toast
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food on June 11th, 2010
Toasting a bagel is a dumb thing to do. I don’t quite understand how anyone can like crunchy bread more than soft bread. Soft bread is delicious and comforting. Therefore, soft bagels are delicious and comforting. Serving bagels any other way is for stupid people.
Expensive Habits
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food, Money/Capitalism/Greed on June 10th, 2010
I like that cigarettes cost so much. Since smoking is such a disgusting activity that causes humans to smell horribly, wastes health-care dollars and bother people who do not smoke in a number of ways I’m in favor of high prices to purchase them. Whether it be a base price or taxes, let’s charge these idiots as much as possible for taking part in this act. If we don’t start charging even more than we already do for cigarettes, I’d be in favor of making them more dangerous and addicting so people die more quickly.
Tags: Cigarettes
Noisy Eating
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food on June 6th, 2010
I like watching television. I like eating Rice Krispies. Unfortunately, it is impossible to do these things at the same time. Rice Krispies make far too much noise to watch television effectively. It’s not like you can pause the Rice Krispies during an important dialogue. There’s only one thing you can do; not eat Rice Krispies during anything except specific sports like Baseball, where the audio is less important than the video. It’s a sad, sad world when Rice Krispies cannot be enjoyed at all hours of the day during all activities.
Tags: Cereal, Rice Krispies
I Do It For You
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food, Personal on June 1st, 2010
I’m a very low maintenance person, with very few demands. Because of this, I tend to give in to girlfriends who have certain demands, because I don’t care either way and I want them to be happy. One girl couldn’t drink water at my apartment unless I bought a water filter. Every time she had tap water she gave me one of those, “This is the most disgusting thing on the planet” faces. Personally, I’d drink the water out of the toilet if it was convenient. Normally there are more convenient options so I will not do so. Anyway, I bought a water filter to appease her. It tasted a little better I suppose, but I didn’t really care either way. So I ended up getting into the habit of buying replacement filters and drinking this filtered water. Then after a while I broke up with her, but out of habit I kept buying replacement filters and drinking the filtered water. For about a year I mindlessly purchased them, even though those things cost a bloody fortune and I didn’t care either way. It would’ve kept happening for eternity if I did accidentally break the filter itself.
End of pointless story. Scurry along now.
Tags: Water Filter
Burger Construction
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food on May 27th, 2010
How difficult is it to construct a cheeseburger? I ask that rhetorically, because every single time I go to Wendy’s there is an issue with the alignment of my burger. The burgers I get have two patties and without fail one patty is sticking out one side of the bun and the other patty is coming out the other side. The cheese between them makes it almost impossible to get them back aligned into their proper place. So the question is, are the employees at Wendy’s just fucking with me and trying to make things difficult, or are they that uncaring and/or incompetent that they can’t place patties on top of a bun in a relatively neat way?
Tags: Burger, Construction, Food
Grill Baby Grill
Posted by WIWAM in Health/Nutrition/Food on May 12th, 2010
One thing I love about the spring and summer is the opportunity to be outside with friends, cooking up some burgers on the grill. If it was up to me I’d just sit on a hammock with a lemonade talking all day long and making food. Why does it seem like this proposition is much more difficult to put in practice than it should be?
Tags: Grilling, Spring, Summer