Archive for ‘Fashion’
Fashion Poles
If you wear corduroy pants with a football jersey does the hipster cancel out the jock or is it a jumbled mess of clashing worlds?
Bitch Side
Posted by WIWAM in Commonalities, Fashion on July 1st, 2010
We all have a favorite side of the closet, and a bitch side of the closet. Our favorite side is easily accessible and holds all the clothes we wear on a regular basis. The bitch side of the closet is further away, hard to get to, darker, and houses all of the clothes that we will either never wear again or wear rarely. The bitch side has jackets in the summer, suits at all points of the year, old shirts, dirty favorite shirts with stains that just won’t seem to come out, clothes that just don’t fit anymore and workout clothes. It more than likely encompasses half of your entire closet space, yet it’s almost never used. We’re very happy with our favorite side of the closet. It has a large amount of light and the clothes have more room to breathe than the bitch side. It’s almost as if Heaven itself is shining down on that side, inviting you to wear some of it’s fine offerings. It makes you smile as it contains all the clothes that look great on you. The bitch side just needs a little bit of love, but it will never receive it. It is destined to be angry, upset and murderous for the whole of eternity.
Banana Ninja
Posted by WIWAM in Fashion, Ridiculousness on June 26th, 2010
Did ninjas always have black clothing? Were they stealth entities from their inception? I wonder if ninjas had a natural evolution like species on this planet. Maybe they didn’t think too clearly about their objectives at first and started with a full yellow body suit. Clearly ninjas would be far more noticeable with full yellow attire compared to black. Natural selection would suggest yellow ninjas would be disposed of far more quickly than black-suited ninjas, leading to the evolution of ninjas to all-black attire.
Tags: Ninjas
Creepy Compliments
Posted by WIWAM in Fashion, Sports/Entertainment/Music on June 25th, 2010
I own a lot of t-shirts, and most of those shirts are music related. I have a lot of Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam & Beatles shirts and often when I wear them out I get complimented on them… by guys. I’ll be minding my own business and a guy will give me the ‘ole, “Nice shirt.” as we pass each other. Mind you, these are not usually guys walking alone, these are guys with what appears to be a girlfriend. I do like the compliment on my musical taste but I am a little weirded out by the randomness of the comment, and the fact that is almost never comes from a girl. It’s always a guy.
There was only one time I complimented a guy on a t-shirt: I was at the Getty Center in Los Angeles and I saw a guy wearing a Michigan football shirt. I thought it quite odd that I would run into another Michigan football fan at the Getty Center so I said, “Go Blue.” I believe he mentioned the fact that we sucked at that moment, which we did.
The point is that I don’t know how to feel about these comments. I suppose they’re just friendly and positive so I’m going to go ahead and say thank you, and keepem’ coming.
Jeans Are Out
I used to be a jeans guy. I used to wear jeans every day. Jeans are comfortable, fashionable and functional. However, jeans are now out. Cargos are in. Cargos are relatively fashionable, extremely functional and normally more loose-fitting, which for me is much more comfortable than jeans. There’s no reason to wear anything else anymore. When you leave the house you always need at least your wallet, phone and keys at the very minimum. With jeans you’re already struggling to fit everything in your minimum requirements into the pockets. Jeans aren’t even an option anymore. They make cargos in a variety of neutral colors which can be matched with any and all shirt possibilities. I made the switch. You should too.
This message was paid for by the national cargo-wearing foundation.
Tags: Jeans
Dark Walking
One day I’m going to murder someone. Not on purpose, mind you. I’m going to murder someone by accident because this world is full of retarded idiots. When the idiots are retarded you know there will be a lot of murdering. The reason I’m going to murder someone is because it seems that everyone who decides to talk a walk at night in my neighborhood does so in all black clothing. In addition to not being at all visible, they have decided it is a good idea to bypass the sidewalk and walk in the street. Mind you, the street is where my car is. You know what a car is; the two ton piece of metal traveling at speeds likely to kill you black-clothing-wearing idiots. I shouldn’t need to break down the word sidewalk for you but I will. Side seems to imply a place NOT IN THE STREET. Walk refers to the activity that should be done while NOT IN THE STREET. Fuck all of you people, let the accidental murdering commence.
Tags: Clothing, Darkness, Walking
Gender Happiness
It’s a good thing I’m a man, because over the years I’ve apparently developed a dislike for wearing shirts. In college I used to walk around the dorm without a shirt on, and I don’t know if my roommates ever saw a shirt of mine on my body. I still rarely wear a shirt while walking around my apartment unless I’m cold. If I was a woman with this same dislike for wearing torso garments I could get in a lot of trouble. On the other hand I probably wouldn’t spend many nights alone.
Tags: Shirt
Rally Cap For Life
Posted by WIWAM in Fashion, Humans/Society/Family on October 23rd, 2009
Sometimes during a baseball game if a team is losing the fans of that team will take their hats and turn them inside out and put them back on their heads. This superstition is supposed to help their team in some fashion, and it’s called a “Rally cap”. I think we should be applying this to more things in everyday life. Have a deadline at work you’re behind on? Rally cap! Driving and late to the wedding? Rally cap! Think you missed your period? Rally cap! You might have to wear it for a few days in that particular case. Let’s make this happen!
Tags: Rally Cap, Superstition
Fleecuum
Posted by WIWAM in Fashion, Ridiculousness on October 17th, 2009
I don’t need to buy a vacuum because I have a fleece jacket. Any piece of hair, dust or lint in my apartment will be picked up by the jacket within 10 seconds of removing it from my closet. I’m convinced that it can pick up other things like pieces of food that fall on the ground, spilled drinks, bowling balls, children, very small rocks, gravy, monster trucks and churches.
Earmuffs Suck
Posted by WIWAM in Commonalities, Fashion on July 29th, 2009
Does anyone actually like earmuffs? We’re supposed to wear them for “protection”, but all they seem to do is make your ears hurt by putting too much pressure on them. Plus, they always have some ridiculous plastic piece that “fits” over your head that is somehow the most uncomfortable object in the entire world. I haven’t worn earmuffs in over a decade because of these reasons, has the situation changed? I’d love to hear that earmuffs now hold a valuable place in our society’s fashion and body protection industry, but I just can’t believe it’s the case. Put a hat on, because earmuffs suck.
Tags: Earmuffs
Shirt Tryouts
Posted by WIWAM in Commonalities, Fashion on July 16th, 2009
Whenever I buy a new shirt I’m not so sure about it has to get a tryout before it can enter into my regular shirt rotation. My regular shirt rotation is probably about 10-12 shirts that I love and feel really comfortable in. After it’s washed for the first time it gets to wait around and see how happy I am in my top 5-7 shirts. Ya know, just to see how it’s done. Then new shirt will get it’s shot to shine. If it does well it will definitely get another start in the same position. If not, it may fall back to the very end of the rotation. Two bad starts and it may be relegated to “Running Out of Clothes” duty. That’s basically the minor leagues of my wardrobe.