As is the case with most of my sex toy ideas, I do not research to see if they actually exist. I’m sure this one does in some capacity and if it does not then I am a goddamn genius and am in need of a sex toy inventor’s job ASAP (for those reading with connections).

Anyway, there should be a scooter or some type of motorized bike outfitted with a dildo on the seat, for those women who are stuck in traffic or just need to orgasm before work or wherever they’re going. Nowadays, there is precious little time to get things done and multitasking is a necessity. So travel and masturbation seems like a logical pairing. So for you invention companies out there, get moving for my lady friends. You can call it the Cooter Scooter. I expect royalties.

And yes, I clearly think about dildos more than the average person.